Emotional Dependence & why you feel being deprived of love and care

Life is more than what you feel, see and imagine. We all have been searching for that one person or thing in our lives who can make us feel being loved. Some of us are fortunate enough to have someone who supports them honestly, and with whom they can share their wounds. But there are some who didn’t get receive this support, love and care, and are still struggling with their inner wounds and seeking someone or something to help them in healing those. 

This article is for all of those who feel emotionally detached, who didn’t receive enough love and care, and are living with some unhealed wounds in their hearts. It is a compilation of spiritual, psychological learnings of many great leaders and has some of my personal ways of dealing with the same.

Let’s understand why we seek emotional dependence in the first place. We all have been born and brought up in different environments, families, and religions. All of this builds who you are today. But life isn’t this easy and things happen. There are some of us who didn’t receive parental love, there are some of us who didn’t have sibling love, there are some who didn’t have friends as they grew up, or family to support them, or a sense of respected and being appreciated, this is when you start feeling unconsciously being deprived of love and care. There can be a bad incident which has affected us emotionally and impacted deeply. Subconsciously all of this creates some empty spaces and invisible wounds in your heart and without you being aware they make you feel either incomplete or unloved.

I want all of you to take a break here, and try to understand which incident or person or thing made you feel what you feel today. I read it somewhere - 

We are nothing but our moving pasts. 

Isn’t it the story of all of us, who we are and what we do in our personal zones is an outcome of what we have experienced in our pasts. 

I believe you have understood why we behave a certain way. Now, when you live with these unhealed open wounds of yours and by the grace of god, you find a person who helps you fill in those spaces, showering you with love which you hadn’t received or care which you never felt, is when you start depending on them for your emotional well being. I hope you can relate all those relations which you have built over time and why you feel good with some, better with some, and in another space with some! All of them are helping in some ways.

For those who couldn’t have one such person to share their hearts with, even after trying hard, even after being honest with them, caring and loving genuinely with an innocent heart, but still facing dishonestly or not being cared for, or not able to find that one for you. A lot of people go on wrong path for feeling better, some starts hurting others, some stops loving, and some just becomes silent and heartless. Life feels like so unfair and harsh. 

I want you to do an activity with me and help yourself coming out of those bad past experiences.

Close your eyes and take a deep breath. And when you exhale, feel that the pain is releasing out of your body. I want you to say it with me - 

It is okay. It is okay and I understand what I feel and how I feel.

It is okay and I accept what I have and how I have. 

I understand what my experiences have made me and I remember my learnings out of them. 

Maybe I couldn’t receive that love but still I can help someone and prevent them from this feeling of being unloved and uncared for.

Don't hurt others because someone hurted you, don't take revenge because someone took on you. Don't become heartless. Find your path, find love in helping others because when you help someone heal their wounds, it heals yours too. 

If you have love in your heart, if you are seeking truth and are therefore a truly religious person, if you are no longer ambitious, no longer pursuing success, and your virtue is not leading to respectability-then your very life will help to bring about a total transformation of society.

~ Quote by Jiddu Krishnamurti

May god help you in your healing journey..!

Thank You for reading.

An article by -

Ritu Soni

AnOptimisticWriter